Neither Here nor There

I've been traveling. On February 5th I took a 16 hour plane trip to Minneapolis. Then I went on a cross-country road trip by myself. People keep telling me they are amazed I would drive across country by myself. I don't think it's amazing when it's purely out of necessity. It's necessary for me to drive to Colorado Springs to be with friends who understand how much the Air Force has to both offer and take away. It is necessary for me to travel to Tucson to see my best friend's new baby and be with friends who are not part of the Air Force at all. It is necessary to go to Houston to feel safe with my in-laws and store things (only things, I know) who have no home anywhere. My address is nothing really, neither here nor there.

Here in Tucson, I feel like myself only with a part of my heart missing--most obviously, my husband. Tucson is where we met and lived our lives together. Now we live them apart, literally across the world from one another. What would it be like to have a normal life again? A normal marriage? A road trip bisecting the country without necessity hanging over my head?